Adios, Happy Homeland! by Ana Menéndez

Author:Ana Menéndez
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grove Atlantic
Published: 2011-07-18T16:00:00+00:00

The Express

BY MARTA YARA BALDWIN

The rain had been falling for two days, a steady beat in the dull-metal autumn of those parts, and Marta was glad to be inside the safety of the moving train. She had brought work with her but had already spent the first half hour of the commute watching the landscape go by, mesmerized by the blurred shapes in shades of gray—trees, village houses, cars. Now and then an umbrella shielded a solitary figure. Others might have found in this scene a melancholy strain, but for Marta it brought an unexpected peace. She was dry inside her compartment, and warm. It occurred to her that she was happy. Not happy in the way she had been as a young woman, when her future glittered before her and she had mistaken the intoxicating newness of the world for love. Then, she had gladly flung herself into the abyss for her beloved, annihilated herself in his embrace. In those days, she had let all the terror and exhilaration of the unknown soak her like a sudden rain. No, not happy in that way. Happy in what Marta understood now was an honest happiness, an enduring sense of contentment that arose from the everyday. She liked to say that the big-ticket pleasures—the weddings, the fine jobs, the grand gestures—had too many moving parts. True happiness was this, being conducted through the wet, forbidding countryside, sheltered in a metal cocoon. She was grateful to the engineers, the designers, the countless workers who had ensured that her trip would be a pleasant one.

She was grateful, too, that she had made the transition to middle age with a minimum of drama. There had been tears, a big disappointment, the sense of having failed at the one thing that mattered. But then had come understanding and a second chance. She knew now that happiness was not the big house, but the orderly kitchen; not the excitement of the chase, but the calm endurance. She took pleasure in her post at the university and even in the two-hour commute that shuttled her between work and home. As a young woman she would have fought and railed against the distance, but she knew enough now to accept and even look forward to the long ride. Those hours in motion were often the only time she had to herself these days and she welcomed the solitude, the gentle rocking familiarity of the train, and the landscape that changed with mood and season and yet managed to remain the same. She made the trip three times a week, and three times a week her husband and young son waited for her, dinner steaming on the stove.

Marta leaned back in her chair. The first-class compartment was nearly empty, even though it was close to the rush hour now. A man a few seats down coughed, and then there was no sound except for the occasional rustle of his paper and the steady chug chug of the train. Marta watched the gray landscape, the train’s motion rocking her in and out of light sleep.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.